Maternal Mental Health Is Not One Size Fits

Maternal mental health does not fit into a “one size fits all” type of category. I think that is where we are strongly struggling in the mental health area, especially for mothers. We are constantly struggling with trying to treat every woman the same, when the hard truth is, what works for some doesn’t work for others. And there are some of us that nothing within the medical system seems to work for, and we find that alternative methods work better. It’s all about finding what works best for you, and I think society and most of what we are taught don’t understand that.

I know this because I lived it.

When I was going through my first round of postpartum depression, I would say I was lucky to find a way to combat it. I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager, and as a teenager and into early adulthood, I found the medication that worked best for me. I had already gone through the trial and error, so when I asked for help, it was so easy for my doctor to prescribe the antidepressant that had worked in the past, and luckily, it did.

Unfortunately, after my second, the medication didn’t work. I went to every single appointment, begging for help. I had so many medication changes, dosages changed, and nothing even began to help. Some even made it worse. After the fourth medication switch, I said I couldn’t do this anymore.

I was referred to a therapist for further help. I was optimistic, thinking this is the right thing, this has helped so many people in the past, and it’s the best place for me. Unfortunately, it didn’t help. I already knew the reason I was feeling the way I did. I had the emotional maturity to understand why my feelings were the way they were and how to fix them. The struggle was finding the spark to ignite myself to actually do what I needed to find relief.

We hear all the time, “You just gotta do it. You need to pick yourself up and force yourself to do the hard things.” And this is great advice for someone who might be suffering from burnout or extreme exhaustion, but the sad reality is, when our mind feels so broken, these simple tasks to everyone else become so incredibly hard, even impossible, to someone drowning in their own mind.

And that was where I realized I needed to look somewhere else.

This is when I broke away from trying to heal in the medical world and found what some might call the unconventional path. I found myself drawn to hypnotherapy after hearing so many great things. And it was all the hype everyone said it was. I went into my first appointment drowning in a darkness, feeling like it was my last shot of hope. If this didn’t work, the darkness would consume me whole, and there would be no coming back.

I left my first appointment with the feeling of a spark. I felt my light turning back on. As I continued to go, my light got brighter and brighter until the days didn’t feel dark and lonely anymore.

That experience changed the way I looked at my own mental health.

When I found out I was pregnant with my third, I knew I was never going to go back to that dark place again. I had all the tools and resources to have a better outlook postpartum. But I dove even deeper. I looked into each Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorder. I learned to understand what my brain was doing and what my hormones were causing. Understanding each disorder gave me the confidence to live with it, learn from it, and not let it swallow me whole.

Do I struggle still? Absolutely. We all have our days. I can’t tell you that you won’t experience dark days. I can’t promise you your entire postpartum experience can be sunshine and rainbows. But what I can promise you is, you are not alone.

There is hope. No matter what you are struggling with, there is something out there for you that will work. Whether it’s through the medical field, a more holistic approach, or just needing to understand your mental health at a deeper level.

And I think that is something we need to talk about more.

I think the problem with today’s world is we just want something that works immediately, essentially an easy way out. But unfortunately, when it comes to mental health, there is no easy way out. It’s going to be hard. It’s going to try to rip you apart in the worst way, but we can stop giving it the power to do so.

We can start giving ourselves a voice, to be understood in a way we never have been. I understand I have people in my circle who don’t believe in mental health. I have people in my life who think I am looking for attention when I speak up. And the truth is, I do not care. I do not care anymore what people think of me or what I do.

There is only one thing I care about: finding the truth about maternal mental health and helping every woman navigate it with confidence and strength. The only way I know how to do this is through my own voice. I will never stop advocating for mothers. I will never stop pushing for more when it comes to maternal mental health.

We owe it to our children, our family, and most importantly, ourselves.

You are never alone in your fight. There is always a woman silently in your corner, cheering you on.